Today, I’m Free

This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power – that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God.  — As Bill Sees It , p. 114

I am learning to practice acceptance in all circumstances of my life, so that I may enjoy peace of mind. At one time life was a constant battle because I felt I had to go through each day fighting myself, and everyone else. Eventually, this became a losing battle. I ended up getting drunk and crying over my misery. When I began to let go and let God take over my life I began to have peace of mind. Today, I am free. I do not have to fight anybody or anything anymore.
Daily Reflections

10th step vernacular in the AA Big Book “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.”

I seek spiritual progress and not spiritual perfection—of which there is no imminent danger of my acquiring in this lifetime—and so there is a lot less fighting going on in my head.  Self-righteous indignation is an overused stalking horse for my addict mind to talk me out of living in acceptance of the present moment as a prelude to a rationale for using.  Being mindful in the current moment is not an intuitively obvious way of living for me no matter how well it works.

I am grateful for all the love, lessons, support, aphorisms, meditation and love that gets me out of my own best thinking and into a better way of living inside my mind instead of fighting anything or anyone.

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