Being a Better Person

An older member of the fellowship visiting from Florida came to our meeting last week and again this morning.  She had been staying with a friend and her spouse.  The spouse had pushed her buttons in all sorts of ways that bothered her greatly.  We talked after the meeting.  Her description of an 80 year old man sounded exactly like how I used to be.  It was uncanny.

Our visitor felt a lot better after we talked.  I encouraged compassion and empathy.  It brought home the concept of being a grateful alcoholic instead of spending my life pushing people away with my (un)helpful verbal suggestions.  It used to be that I did not know any other way of interacting with others besides my sarcastic derogatory painful annoying comments made under the guise of being funny.  I had no way to change and little idea how much I was hurting myself and others.

Today’s observed behavior was someone with a history of saying “sorry” when called on their crap pretty much denying their part, much less taking ownership of their annoying misbehavior.

Thanks to the miracles of recovery and 12-step programs, I get to show up differently in my life today by not pushing everybody’s buttons, having compassion and empathy, and taking ownership when I have stepped out of line with an apology and sincere effort to change my ways in the future.

I am grateful for the huge positive changes I have made in how I show up in my relationships.  It is miraculously better than how it used to be.  While it was slow coming to wait until 55 to get much better social skills, that is a lot better than being 80 and still not having it.