I am pretty good about following medical advice from my doctors’. I was nowhere near that standard when it came
to getting help from others when dealing with personal issues. That is part and parcel of a life of
isolation and solitude resulting in a horrible degradation of the choices I
have made in my life.
I learned to not talk about my plans in my family of origin. It was akin to having an open wound and
asking them to pour salt on it. I was devoiced as a child and still carry the
impact of that experience with me to this day.
Fortunately there are ways of mitigating my strong propensity to
isolate my thoughts and feelings from others.
12-step meetings are a fantastic place to learn how to share my feelings
with others. Meeting with Mike and
Charlie at the mall every Friday teaches me how to talk about my thoughts and
feelings with other men.
I had considered saying hello to my mother whom I have not seen in 18
months. She is going to fly to Australia
to see my sister next week. It would be
nice to let her know that I love her and wish her a safe happy trip. Unfortunately, talking with my mother is also
my biggest trigger for relapsing on crack cocaine.
I talked it over with Mike and Charlie.
Typically their feedback consists of telling a story when they had a
similar situation. With respect to
seeing my mother with its high potential for using, their response was a
resounding NO! The downside risk far outweighs the
upside potential. I hope my mother has a
nice trip.
I am grateful to have mentors to talk about my thoughts and feelings
with and for their wisdom when it comes to making choices before I take action.
An ounce of prevention is worth infinitely more than a pound of cure for a
disease like alcoholism that can’t be cured.
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