Leslee and I went to Echo Glen for an AA meeting with kids after she
invited me to go this afternoon. Echo
Glen is like a nice upscale kiddie prison.
They have a recovery lodge, among others, that kids can stay in for 3ish
months at a time. It was the first time
I had gone since January.
I talked about my roommate’s using, sobriety, relapse and having gone
back to prostitution today. Actually, I
read them a letter that I had written to her in my best Alanon/AA form reviewing
the year from incomprehensible demoralization on January 1st to 7
months of methadone to using twice in a week to prostitution two days later is
classic alcoholic behavior for the week before she finally gets her dentures
and carpal tunnel surgery scheduled. She
is snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
It takes a lot of recovery to be able to handle success without
self-destructing. She clearly lacks
that enough recovery to handle success at this time.
Normally the lodge is 8 boys and 8 girls. Tonight it was 3 boys and 12 girls. I read the letter early on. Every girl that shared had been raped, molested
or pimped by a family member. One girl
had been pimped-out for drugs by her mother when she was very very young. It was the most intense meeting Leslee and I
had ever been to—and we have gone to a prison meeting every month for years. There was a lot of healing. Two kids were squirming in their chairs like
they had a bad case of fleas. Normally
that would annoy me a lot (well it did tonight too…) but I had the insight,
compassion and empathy to realize that, they too, were victims of sex abuse and
it was hard for them to sit and listen to others talk about it.
I am grateful for the love and support I get from my friends, that I
was not sexually abused, that I am sober today, for great meetings and for
being able to be of service to someone else in lieu of isolating at home with
my own best thinking.
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