The Difference Between an Intention and a Decision

Sandy talked about listening to a speaker tape discussing the difference between intentions and decisions—decisions require ensuing action.

The topic from today’s Daily Reflections was the 10^th step in which when we are wrong we promptly admit it.  I got to chair the meeting and read the two pages from the big book on the 10^th step.  It was all about taking action.

An old-timer with 40+ years of sobriety and going to meetings at the prison in Monroe would always introduce himself with “My name is L and I am an alcoholic.  AA is for those that want it, not those that need it, and you better believe I want it.”  The more I heard it, the more I would hear a tiny clang of cognitive dissonance.  I know now that AA is for those that do it, not those that want it or need it.

Gave Michelle a ride to the Alano Club today.  It was a short silent sad ride.  I knew that it would be the last ride I give her to the Alano Club from here since I am getting a protection order kicking her out on Monday morning.  She looked out the passenger window the entire way there.  After the meeting, she walked off presumably headed home.  Lea went with me to my Doctor’s office.  When we got home, Michelle was not here and has not come home.  Typically this means she has gone back out.  That is even sadder.   I did not want her to drink or use again, I just wanted her to not live here with her delusional and/or toxic BS.

I am grateful to be able to make decisions today.  That is a lot better having intentions that resulted in living life as a series of uncompleted New Year’s resolutions akin to the movie Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day.