The Gift Of Laughter

At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs.

— 12x12, p. 26

Before my recovery from alcoholism began, laughter was one of the most painful sounds I knew. I never laughed and I felt that anyone else's laughter was directed at me! My self-pity and anger denied me the simplest of pleasures or lightness of heart. By the end of my drinking not even alcohol could provoke a drunken giggle in me.

When my A.A. sponsor began to laugh and point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions, I was annoyed and hurt, but it taught me to lighten up and focus on my recovery. I soon learned to laugh at myself and eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also. Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself too seriously.

            From the book Daily Reflections for February 20th

I used laughter like a sharp weapon to keep others away.  Whether by witty sarcastic remarks that hurt others or by a harsh braying laugh aimed at the heart of others, laughter created distance in my relationships and left me feeling even more lonely at the end of the day.

I still have inappropriate laughter at times when I don’t know what to say to a friend’s deep revealing vulnerability, but it is a lot friendlier than how it used to be.  I now usually immediately own my not knowing a more appropriate response than a sort of embarrassed laughter and we have a moment of shared humanity.  But not always.

Now I laugh at myself and with others.  That works a lot better for me, for others and my relationships.  I now see laughter as an expression of love, caring and healing.  It is the best medicine.

I am grateful for the laughter in my life today.  There has not been a lot of laughing by me in the last month.  I am sure there will be plenty when I chair the meeting tomorrow morning on this very topic.