Since defective relations with
other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes,
including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying
and valuable rewards than this one. 12x12, p. 80
Willingness is a peculiar thing
for me in that, over a period of time, it seems to come, first with awareness,
but then with a feeling of discomfort, making me want to take some action. As I
reflected on takingthe Eighth Step, my willingness to make amends to others
came as a desire for forgiveness, of others and myself. I felt forgiveness
toward others after I became aware of my part in the difficulties of
relationships. I wanted to feel the peace and serenity described in the
Promises. From working the first seven Steps, I became aware of whom I had
harmed and that I had been my own worst enemy. In order to restore my
relationships with my fellow human beings, I knew I would have to change. I
wanted to learn to live in harmony with myself and others so that I could also
live in emotional freedom. The beginning of the end to my isolation—from my
fellows and from God—came when I wrote my Eighth Step list. Daily Reflections August 20th.
The more I work the AA program and study positive psychology, the more
I come to believe that defective relations with other human beings has been
both the immediate and long term cause of my woes. Now I have even more tools such as
self-compassion to help heal the hurting inner child, let go of self-pity and at
least act as if I am functional mature adult responsible for my life today. That is a lot of progress from how it used to
be.
I am grateful for the changes I have achieved in my thoughts, behaviors
and actions thanks to the AA spiritual program of action, my new employer—a
kind loving nurturing higher power, and kind loving healthy friends that go out
of their way to help me succeed in becoming the me that I was always meant to
be.
Go swimming tomorrow.
ReplyDelete