The insanity of addiction goes well beyond merely being intoxicated to
a host of unattractive behaviors.
I took D out to lunch today. He
gave up smoking cigarettes for a New Year’s Resolution. He spent the money he saved on
marijuana. For a guy with a serious case
of schizophrenia, this did not seem to be an improvement in what he smoked. Usually I do okay with D. Today was a rough day and I did not enjoy our
time together. After spending his money
on drugs, he wanted $2 for cigarette rolling papers. Only after I gave him the $2 did he tell me
that he spent his money on pot this month.
That was annoying. I am not interested
in being tricked into subsidizing the drug use of others by being conned by
some half-truth (at best).
On the way home, L wanted to stop by the Rite-Aid pharmacy and get the
rest of an antibiotic prescription along with a few other things. I told her not to dawdle. She went in, came back 15 minutes later
telling me that she had refilled some other Rx and would be right back out
after she checked out. Almost 10 minutes
later, she finally came out and was ready to go. There was three lies in that one stop at
Rite-Aid. 1) She was just going to get
her antibiotic; 2) she would be right back out; 3) she would not dawdle. She acted surprised when I expressed being
annoyed with her behavior. The good news is that tomorrow she will have
60 days of not using street drugs.
I did make it clear that what she had done was unacceptable. I did not make it clear that it was the three
lies that were annoying—along with being stuck waiting for well over 20
minutes. I will do that soon.
Don’t get me wrong, there are undoubtedly many less than perfect
aspects to my personality and behaviors.
God knows I need help keeping my life together. The good news is I am a lot better than how I
used to be.
I am grateful for the progress we AA members have made in staying sober
and having better relationships in our lives.
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