A Great Meeting For Me

I have fallen by the Alanon wayside over the last three years.  My home group was moved to a room that did not work so well for me.  The next group I went to was okay, but I felt a lack of primary purpose of carrying the message.  This was likely me wanting to have things the way I liked them.  Since I don’t drink hot beverages, a break to get tea early the meeting was perceived as a distraction.  (Admittedly, it could have been that I needed to learn how to socialize with others.)

We have tried three Alanon meetings in the last three weeks.  The first two were (hopeless basket cases?) mired in the problem and not in the solution.  Obviously, they did not work for me.  Last night, we went to a Tuesday night meeting in Sand Point.  It was glorious.  We all read a paragraph from step 7, shared or passed, going all the way around the room in 90 minutes.  Everybody got to participate.  All who shared were focused on the solution.  Nobody hogged the time with endless nattering about the problem since there was a timer that each member ran for themselves.

I had a veritable spiritual experience while listening to others share.  My approach to the seventh step was always passive in that I would ask god to remove my defects while not citing specific defects to be removed rationalizing god knows what he is doing and does not need my direction. This enabled me to avoid taking responsibility/action to allow god to help me help myself.

Recent study of the 12x12 book has made it more clear than ever that my defects of character stemmed from instincts run amuck trying to get more pleasure out of things than could be had.  Obvious examples are overeating (gluttony) and inaction (sloth).  While listening and reflecting at the meeting last night, I realized I needed to take direct action by asking god to remove these shortcomings while doing my part to eat less and exercise more.  Pride is a third sin for me to focus on having removed from my thoughts and behaviors.  Plenty enough work for now.

I was in a mild state of rapture when we left the meeting and drove home last night sharing with Lea and Michelle how much I got out of that meeting.   I had been a bit aimlessly lost in what I needed to work on other than simply staying sober and helping others.  Now I have something to work on for myself.  This will result in flow as I work off the obese effects of gluttony and sloth.

I am grateful for healthy meetings, spiritual inspirations and the support of friends to help me find my way in life.