An income greater than my bills

In nthe midst of the worst recession in my lifetime, I am fortunate to have a pension that provides an income greater than my expenses. Part of my recovery program is making amends when possible. I can't pay back much of the financial havoc that I wreaked directly. I am making indirect amends by helping others who are not so welll off.

I could give my amends money to charities. Many people have done that. For me, helping others directly is a lot more fulfilling and responsible. I have to find out what others need and empathize with that need. That already gets me out of myself. Helping others figure out what they want and need are skills I can help with. The goal is to empower others while making my finanacial amends, not to enable others with ostentatious displays of so-called virtue.

I am getting better at helping others. Yesterday was a great day for that by my standards. I fixed a guy's email problem, took him out for lunch, bought lunch for a man that could not afford the fast food meal that he wanted, put some money on a bus pass and helped a woman get a card and a Mother's Day flower for her mom.

It is mildly stressful for me to write about this. I am grateful I am the one with the resources that gets to help others instead of needing help. I don't want to brag about how virtuous I am. It is a conondrum for me in how to express my gratitude in getting to be of service to others with humility. Progress, not perfection.

I am grateful that I am able to give back to others what has been so freely given to me.

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