My father was a pilot for Pan Am airlines for 33 years. He would go on trips ranging from several
days up to 12 days spent flying 707s around the Pacific Rim. When he got home, my mother would yell at him
to punish me for some minor childhood transgression that happened a week
before. That was a crappy welcome home
for all of us. I learned to dread his
return, my was completely invested in her self-righteous indignation and my
father must have dreaded coming home. If
I, or any of us, knew then even a small fraction of what I know now, it would
have been a much more pleasant place for all of us to live.
I have two friends that fly into SeaTac airport every couple of
months. I pick them up at the terminal
and give them a ride home. As Leslee
says, “it makes for a soft landing”.
Today I realized that I could use this soft landing as a way of making a
living amends to myself and my deceased father.
TM and I picked up Greg at SeaTac tonight then went to his favorite
gyro place, the Gyrocery, in the U-District and had a delicious Middle Eastern
lamb combo plate. When I dropped him off
at his parent’s place in Issaquah, I told him “welcome home”. It felt good.
I am
grateful for ways to right the wrongs of the past. These living amends will never change the
past, they can make my life and the lives of others much more kind and pleasant.
I had a semi relative who made her husband and or herself beat us badly for little things, she always told the husband but he could not hit us like she did, they wanted us to kiss them goodnight after all that bullshit..I hated them and felt they were totally out of control...I never saw them after we were taken away by authorities in this tiny town, the people knew them for what they were, they were not nice people, they got kids from the juvenile centers in Chehalis & Centralia area to work their fields and I am sure they treated them the same way, we were isolated on a farm, I yearned for the day to be reunited with my biological mom and dad, only to have my Mom for a small time before she died...I never forgave them for the abuse we had at their hands, when small children are left with people you don't know a whole bunch of crap happens, I never spanked or hit my only child never, we don't live like that at all, she is a delightful human being happy, no one took care of her but me and her daddy, we made sure no one ever hit her or yelled and told her terrible things they thought about her momma and daddy, it is no way to live, it stays with people it seemed forever, I let it go and I am happier, I think some people should never ever take care of kids and or ever have kids, they are cruel and heartless and sometimes they make kids into cruel and heartless human beings, I took the high road, but my poor brother he coped with it by drinking and getting addicted, his choice but I helped him to recover and he stays sober and clean one day at a time..oh, how I wish I could yell to the mountain tops to some people to NEVER BE PARENTS AT ALL, IT WOULD SAVE MANY YOUNG LIVES A LOT OF PAIN AND ADDICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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