Fear of Rejection

Almost without exception, my AA friends admitted that they had struggled with the same feelings.  Some claimed that their fear of rejection stemmed from a lack of self-worth; some of the men laid the difficulty to feelings of inadequacy stimulated by years of drinking.  It was also asserted that we couldn't stand the responsibility of being loved and so sought rejection in subtle ways.  About the only thing that everyone agreed upon completely was that this problem, like our drinking problem, had a spiritual solution.  The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 1], p.16

[I have had a bit of writer’s block on picking topics on my own.  It is less than optimal cutting-n-pasting thought-for-the-day emails, but far better than not writing.]

I was so fearful of rejection that my solution was to alienate others before they got to know me and then reject me.   It did avoid being rejected for who I was and was a complete failure for developing functional relationships with healthy emotionally available friends and good acquaintances.  I am a lot better now than how it used to be.  There is still massive room for improvement in overcoming my fear of relationships.

I am grateful for the progress I have made towards being available to be in positive healthy sober relationships with friends.  I might always tend towards being a reclusive homebody.  I know now how vastly important relationships are for my mental, emotional and physical health.