My Friend Sandy

I have known Sandy for almost 7 years.  We have gone out to supper once a week for 6 years.  Our friendship is vital to my emotional well-being.  After my nasty months-long relapse last year, we met at a Mexican restaurant in Bellevue on my first day sober on a Monday.  While talking with her that night on the rainiest night of the rainiest month of the year in Bellevue, I realized that my relationship with others is the most important human issue in my life (my spirituality and sobriety are prerequisites for relationships with others).

I feel foolish for having learned that about relationships at 53 years old.  D’uh!  It seems like little kids should intuitively know that early in life.  Somehow that lesson escaped me for a long long time.  Even know when writing about the priority of relationships in my life, I wrote a bunch of extraneous details about Mexican restaurants, Bellevue, rainy days and rainy months—although those details are vivid reminders of where we where and what it was like when I made the profound realization of the importance of relationships for myself.

Sandy is a reserved person and yet shows me her feelings better than any person in my life.  As an old fat guy in a wheelchair, it is tempting for me to think “if only I were younger, ambulatory, smarter, richer, etc…, life would be great”.  Sandy is younger, ambulatory, smarter and beautiful. Yet her life is not perfect and she is often frustrated by her issues.  Sharing with her about our own issues helps me keep my “if only…” thinking in check.

I am unimaginably grateful for my close relationship with Sandy.  My life is infinitely better for having her in it.