Ten years ago, Lea left her family for a life of crime and using. Yesterday she had 3 months of methadone
treatment along with daily 12-step meetings.
She has not met with her son or daughter on a regular basis in years. Her son talks with her by phone. Her 18 y.o. daughter Lori and ex-husband have
not responded to phone calls nor a letter.
Lori turns 18 on Saturday and graduates from both High School and
Beauty College this week. Of course Lea
is despondent for her failure to show up as a mother and would like to attend
these major milestones in her daughter’s life.
Almost undoubtedly, it would be extremely counter-productive for Lea to
show up uninvited.
Yesterday, Lea was courageous by accepting life as it is and making the
best of a bad situation by getting Lori one card each for her birthday, her high
school graduation and for her beauty school graduation. It is unimaginable how painful it is for an
addicted mother like Lea to look at the wreckage of her past and start picking
up the pieces to clean up that mess after years of being AWOL from her children’s
lives.
It was as powerful a performance of courage and right action as I have
ever seen by an addict in recovery. First,
Lea talked it over with her sponsor and then she got the cards and then wrote
to her daughter and her husband (Sunday is Father’s Day). Nobody knows what the results will be from
Lea reaching out to her family. At the
very least, Lea will know she did the best she could in the current situation.
I am grateful to have people as courageous as Lea in my life. I got a motivational thought for day by
email. Yesterday’s was most
appropriate, "We're not in the results business. We're in the footwork
business."
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