I have to six funerals in my life.
Two for my brother and sister when I was a teenage that were especially
traumatic and intense in their loss. My
dad’s closest cousin, Berkeley Johnson.
Friends were Mark Adams, Lemeal J. and Jeanie Turner.
A friend who has tried recovery several times and is doing really good
this time with the most sobriety he ever had—4 months—has had five family
members and close friends die in the last two months. His teenage daughter died yesterday. Brutal.
I am sorry for his losses and glad that he is staying sober.
Another friend had 18 months and went back out. She is homeless, struggling and
defiant. That is a scary painful place
to be. Having proved several times
beyond a shadow of a doubt that her way does not work, she is going to give it
another try. It is the recovery equivalent
of watching somebody beat their bloody head against a brick wall while chanting
over and over again “I don’t need a door, I can do this myself”.
I certainly need to work on my issues, but they are way less painful
and intense than what many others are having to deal with.
I am grateful for the chronic nature of my problems and lack of
visceral intense pain in my life today.
My crap sucks, but it is the same old crap and I know how to deal with
it…just keep working on it.
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