I have the best group of friends that I have ever had in my life. They are reliable, consistent, kind, loving, smart, mostly well-educated and have great compassion for others. They meet with me each week for walks, meetings, meals, conversation and companionship. We honestly and openly discuss what is going on in our life at the moment, past tragedies and future hopes. It was not always like that.
By contrast, I am working with others that are in the disparate straits between hitting a bottom and being too scared to quit using. One person in active heroin addiction lies about nearly everything while remaining adamant that they only speak the truth. It is quite possible their denial is so strong that they can’t accept they are lying. When presented with SMS texts from themselves literally stating “I did that” and “I did not do that”, they have a ready excuse for why that is not a contradiction in their special case.
It is not my job to get liars to admit to lying. I do explain the confusing communication when they demand to know why I did not comprehend and act upon their (mixed) messages. I do have compassion and empathy for them as they struggle to find a firmer grasp on a functional reality. Watching them gives me much more appreciation for what I do have.
I am grateful for my friends and for others that share an intimate look into the painful life of active addiction as they desperately seek to escape the terrors of their using lifestyle.
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