There is a ‘business meeting’ that I have attended once a month for the last 10 years. It has grown and evolved from a handful of people when I started to a score of people regularly attending this meeting. Four months ago, an attendee got butt-hurt by action taken by another person that was new to the meeting. Since then, they have taken the meeting hostage with a never ending discussion that the group had ignored their ‘mandate’ on an vote that went 8 to 8.
The meeting has literally been taken hostage. I am getting Stockholm syndrome. Presumably we resolved the issue at this month’s meeting. I was optimistic after I left the meeting that we would not have to discuss the issue at yet another meeting in December. A day or two later, the hamster wheel in my head started spinning on the issue. Thanks to the progress made in my recovery, it was like the hamster wheel was in another room behind a closed door. I could not turn it off, by it was not all-consuming with negative thoughts.
I went to my doctor for a monthly blood test today. She told me a story about being bothered by something a former co-worker said to her on Tuesday. I shared my hamster wheel story. We both felt better and closer. After talking about it with another friend this evening, and then again at a meeting, the hamster wheel has nearly stopped.
I am grateful for the progress in my recovery providing tools to reduce the impact of incessant negative self-talk. Part of my enhanced gratetude is also appreciating problematic situations are not nearly as annoying as they used to be.
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