Working on Not Be a Lonely Loner

I am an introvert that likes to isolate by myself at home.  While rarely a good thing, that is not necessarily a bad thing—except in the case of those of us that self-medicate the pain of loneliness with substance abuse (the most current PC term I have seen is alcohol use disorder which superseded alcohol abuse that superseded alcoholism).  Call it what you want, excessively self-medication of emotional pain is a huge problem for me.

One thing the problem is not “is one that lends itself to a cognitive solution” (thanks Dennis).  My best thinking will only get me spending more time at home alone ever deeper in my problem.  An important part of the 12-step programs is the fellowship with others that suffer in different ways from the same malady. 

After many many meetings, I slowly learned how to listen to the similarities instead of letting my terminal uniqueness always listen for the differences preventing me from finding commonality with others.  My perception is most others learned this a lot faster than I did.

Along with attending meetings 7-10 times a week, I now have 4 recurring weekly meetings with friends in recovery.  Meetings and friends get me out of my home and head to a much healthier space interacting with others.

Last month I started writing answers to a 438 question 12-step workbook.  It was going slow at first matching speeds with the slowest writer.  I needed more relief and am now writing two answers an evening before I post here.  There is at least the satisfaction of knowing that I am taking action towards positive self-care.   It is undoubtedly better to write than not-write.

The tyranny of the insanity in my mind that tells me using is a good idea sucks.  The really good news is there is a treatment.  Unfortunately there is no cure.

I am learning how to be a good friend and how to make good friends.   That precludes my being a lonely loner isolating at home at lot less than how it used to be.

I am grateful to be sober and working a program of recovery today.   That is a lot better than all the other alternatives.