Progress not Perfection

I have been trying to get and stay sober since going to inpatient rehab in May of 1999. Once I had almost 5 years  and then I had almost 7 years.  Twice I had almost a year.  For the vast majority of the last 15 years, I have been clean and sober.   For most people in 12-step programs, the obsession to use gets lifted from them.  That has not been my experience.

Over the years, I have done a lot of AA service work by volunteering at the local prison, being on the board of the local intergroup office, and doing outreach work at the district level.  That was all well and good, but it did not keep me sober.

I am an intensely private introvert.  What I have not done was share my life and time with others in a one-on-one type situation.  I am going to work on doing that in the future.  It is my best idea for what I need to do to stay sober and have the obsession to use lifted from me.

I am grateful for what recovery I do have, the love and support of my sister and my friends and that I still have faith that I can find long-term sobriety by doing a better job of working my 12-step program.  (I would not be surprised if someday science proves the primary killer of alcoholics and addicts was a lack of hope and faith.)