At The Turning Point

“Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.  AA BB p. 59

Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.

Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing — and able — to change.”  From the book Daily Reflections

Due to nature, nurture or being a Pisces, I always been an half-measures kind of guy.  I could see two side to every issue.  There are huge issues with commitment and, presumably, the fear of failure—especially if I were to actually try my best to succeed.

My father was a Taurus.  I envied Taurus for their bullish nature of choosing a direction and going for it with complete abandon.  The downside was that a bad choice of direction led them seriously off course before allowing for the possibility of having made a mistake.

I am getting better of commitment with complete abandon.  That or I am lowering my standards as to what constitutes complete abandon.  Either way, I am getting more distant from my half-measures approach to life and recovery.

I am grateful for my less wishy-washy approach to life.  It is nice not having to overthink every issue before taking action.  Now I strive to take right action asap—or at least reasonably soon!