From
page 85 of the big book:
“It is easy to let up on
the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for
trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve
contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a
day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities.
"How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are
thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along
this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.”
My spiritual condition was a bit rough today judging by my nearly
overwhelming desire to smoke crack. I
stayed home all afternoon and evening so I would not be out driving around in
my car. Addiction is insanity. All the longer-term consequences from using
range from bad to horrific, yet the seduction of being high makes this OCD-like
thought seem reasonable in my insanity.
I am grateful to be sober tonight.
I thank god and the AA program of recovery from my sobriety. I could not do it on my own.
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