Seeking And Getting Advice From Others

I am pretty good about following medical advice from my doctors’.  I was nowhere near that standard when it came to getting help from others when dealing with personal issues.   That is part and parcel of a life of isolation and solitude resulting in a horrible degradation of the choices I have made in my life.

I learned to not talk about my plans in my family of origin.  It was akin to having an open wound and asking them to pour salt on it.  I was devoiced as a child and still carry the impact of that experience with me to this day. 

Fortunately there are ways of mitigating my strong propensity to isolate my thoughts and feelings from others.  12-step meetings are a fantastic place to learn how to share my feelings with others.  Meeting with Mike and Charlie at the mall every Friday teaches me how to talk about my thoughts and feelings with other men.

I had considered saying hello to my mother whom I have not seen in 18 months.  She is going to fly to Australia to see my sister next week.  It would be nice to let her know that I love her and wish her a safe happy trip.  Unfortunately, talking with my mother is also my biggest trigger for relapsing on crack cocaine.

I talked it over with Mike and Charlie.  Typically their feedback consists of telling a story when they had a similar situation.  With respect to seeing my mother with its high potential for using, their response was a resounding NO!  The downside risk far outweighs the upside potential.  I hope my mother has a nice trip.


I am grateful to have mentors to talk about my thoughts and feelings with and for their wisdom when it comes to making choices before I take action. An ounce of prevention is worth infinitely more than a pound of cure for a disease like alcoholism that can’t be cured.

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