Glad it is not me

Saw my friend Lea yesterday. She was in heinous pain from an uncertain ailment. She had been previously diagnosed with Lupus. It is highly likely the cause of her pain is Lupus. Smoking, using drugs and eating red meat are all triggers for Lupus flare-ups—she does all that. She did not admit to it, but that has to very scary, if not completely terrifying to have a painful degenerative condition. The good news is that Lupus can be managed with diet and medicine to be a low-impact condition.

Fear of unknown ailments, especially ones involving heinous pain, is one of the scariest things in my life. It am sure that is also true for Lea. Fear combined with the immense pain she was suffering and her heroin addiction makes her an extremely likely candidate for suicide by accidental overdose. I shared my concern with her and asked her if she was sick and tired enough of being sick & tired to consider an alternative to the using lifestyle of a heroin-addicted prostitute such as sobriety. She pretty much swallowed that question without response. If it had not been for her incredible pain, I would not have said anything to her about trying sobriety. When people are sweating from their pain, it is assuredly more pain than I want to experience. She was not having fun. Her flare-up has been going on for at least two weeks.

I have had a spinal cord injury (SCI) for 31+ years. There are temporal secondary affects such as bladder infections or wounds that are slow to heal. The SCI has not changed since the moment I was paralyzed. Aside from hoping for a cure in the early years, I have always been grateful for the stability of my disability with great empathy for those who suffer from degenerative conditions such as auto-immune diseases like MS or Lupus.

I am extremely grateful for the stability of my SCI, my pension from Workmen's Compensation and SSDI, and the lifetime medical 100% insurance coverage for assistive devices including wheelchairs and shower benches. (I already ordered a new shower bench this morning. They last a couple of years before the padding gets torn or falling apart.) I am also grateful for my 45 days of sobriety today.