My spirituality

One description of the 12-step programs is that they are a spiritual program of action. The meetings have but one ultimate authority—a loving god as we may understand him. That works for everybody at the meetings whether they be atheists, agnostics, spiritual or religious believers.

Years ago I spent time contemplating the nature of god and attributes such an entity might have. I concluded that if I have a god, he is omnipotent. What is true for me is that as long as I act as if there is a god, my life goes a lot better. It does not matter if there is or is not a supreme being. What matters is what I think and do. Basically that boils down to my turning my worries over to my higher power and doing the next indicated thing.

While discussing that with a friend tonight, I realized that I am a spiritual agnostic. That covers all I need to know about god at this time. Many of the smartest men in history spent their lives trying top prove the existence of god (or no-god) to no avail, it is not something that I spend much time on. I simply do my best to act as if there is a god and move on.

I now meditate on gratitude in the morning and at night, along with during the day as needed. That works really well for me and I am grateful that I have found a way to meditate that works for me—feeling grateful to my higher power and others for the gifts I have been given in my life today.

I have always had the basics of food & shelter in my life. I am and was loved by my family but it all too often was expressed in ways that hurt resulting in a lack of emotional security, serenity and intimate relationships. Today I have a full complement of the hierarchy of needs with food, shelter, relationships and such at something approaching the high end of the poverty level in Bellevue. That makes me richer than about 80% of the people in the world. It is nice to have those tools and toys.

The real miracle in my life beyond sobriety is the inside job of having serenity and gratitude in my life. Working with others who are struggling reinforces my gratitude in great measure. It is positive reinforcement to continue on my path in the direction I am heading. It is working for me today.