glad it's not me


I have a friend that is dying of late-stage alcohol abuse.   Her health is falling apart with swollen legs, wounds that won’t heal, daily bouts of morning nausea, and not able to eat/digest solid food.

She has a prescription for anti-nausea medication that she chooses to not buy so she can spend her money on alcohol instead.   I was going to take her out to dinner the other night.  Within a few blocks, she had become so hostile that dinner was clearly not going to happen.  Once I confirmed we would not be going to dinner, she calmed down.  A few blocks later and she was again able to hold a civil conversation.

Alcoholism is a brutal disease with a slow painful way to die and a shame-laden way to live.   I feel compassion and empathy for my friend.  I can’t spend much time with her due to her inability to process (emotional) issues any other way than to become hostile about some random topic as a way to preclude further discussion and/or evaluation of events and triggers.

One powerful positive direct effect of spending time with my dying alcoholic friend is that it provides mass positive reinforcement for me to work a program with a lifestyle that helps me diligently work a program of recovery willing to go to any length to avoid getting caught up in an active cycle of substance abuse.

I am grateful for my recovery today and for those that provide a good example of a bad situation helping me to stay sober one day at a time.

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