I have a
friend that is dying of late-stage alcohol abuse. Her health is falling apart with swollen
legs, wounds that won’t heal, daily bouts of morning nausea, and not able to
eat/digest solid food.
She has a
prescription for anti-nausea medication that she chooses to not buy so she can
spend her money on alcohol instead. I
was going to take her out to dinner the other night. Within a few blocks, she had become so
hostile that dinner was clearly not going to happen. Once I confirmed we would not be going to
dinner, she calmed down. A few blocks
later and she was again able to hold a civil conversation.
Alcoholism
is a brutal disease with a slow painful way to die and a shame-laden way to
live. I feel compassion and empathy for
my friend. I can’t spend much time with
her due to her inability to process (emotional) issues any other way than to
become hostile about some random topic as a way to preclude further discussion
and/or evaluation of events and triggers.
One powerful
positive direct effect of spending time with my dying alcoholic friend is that
it provides mass positive reinforcement for me to work a program with a
lifestyle that helps me diligently work a program of recovery willing to go to
any length to avoid getting caught up in an active cycle of substance abuse.
I am
grateful for my recovery today and for those that provide a good example of a
bad situation helping me to stay sober one day at a time.
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