hearing my higher powers message for me

Issues of money, property and prestige are always present. Last week, they culminated at the local 12-step business meeting that I have actively participated in for the last eleven years. For months, we have argued about spending money to carry the message—which is our primary purpose.

I favor in no uncertain terms using the resources we have buy literature and advertising. Others don't want to spend the money in our community. Every year, we have unspent money that we pass 'upline' to the Area and National entities expecting them to somehow fly back to Bellevue to do our work for us. To date, that has not worked. Insanity is repeating the same behavior expecting different results.

I love doing service work at the local level. The monthly meeting is a five minute drive from my home. There are plenty of alcoholics in my community needing to hear the message. The work of carrying the message will never be done in my lifetime.

Group-think like this would frustrate me greatly in the past giving me a reason (excuse) to use. This week I meditated on the issue and concluded that it is time for me to move on. I can't spend my time arguing over issues of money, property and prestige—that is our 6th Tradition.

The chairperson of the local business group responded today to my email from a few days ago discussing my thoughts and concerns. He suggested applying for an open board position working with our official journal, a monthly magazine with a print subscription of 220,000, an online edition, and a searchable online archive with every article ever printed since the magazine started 68 years ago. It was flattering that he suggested that position to me, but there is no way I am going to try to be that guy in a wheelchair trying to catch a taxi in New York City. (NYC taxis are infamous for who they don't stop for/pickup.)

Now I will work at a county level instead of a community level. It is the same work, with more driving and traffic. I will meet new people and learn more. It is time to expand my horizons. I will try to carry the message at a county level. Already got a new project today. The group agreed to make 21st century business cards with a QR code on them. I am on it.

This service work is very important to me. I live a small quiet life in my apartment with my 2 cats and 20-year old car. Chronic pain keeps me out of my wheelchair much of the day. Doing service work adds structure, values and a sense of accomplishment to my life. Most importantly, it helps keep me sober.

I am grateful for the rewards of doing service work with others and for whatever ability I have to hear my higher power's messages for me.

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